2 more weeks. Preparations are under way.
Dates are being set. I will resign in 2 weeks on May 3rd. After more the 12 years working in an office in front of computer screens and most of the time on the phone I won't miss it a minute. My farewell party is being staged on Saturday May 22nd. I'll ride out of town 2nd week in June or so. So I won't be in England before end of June. Everything is a bit postponed. But the goal is not to hurry. Alastair, a friend of mine from university, is getting married on June 5th. And as I really enjoy going to weddings.... I really do.
It is happening and everyone knows it. By now they are taking me seriously, even my parents. This weekend I found out that they have been busy inviting the "olds," their friends to my farewell-party. 22nd of May (just in case you forgot). No wonder they do! I have been talking about going away for four years now.
So not much time left. At some stage in the next 2 months I'll be really busy getting ready. So far I am extremely relaxed, not busy, just preparing these pages to go live the moment I resign. I have it all set-up in my head. All the details are crystal clear to me. And I go about the necessary preparations in an autopilot-like manner. The feeling that things are falling into place automatically surrounds me. I am ready to go. With a sense of delight I am not worried -- But I know that at some stage I will be busy emptying my flat, selling or giving away or storing all my furniture, books, potted flowers, crockery and have the flat redecorated.
Write about your feelings
Trying to put together this journal, I am wondering about what do I want to say, write about, how to capture readers attention, what is so damn interesting about what I do compared to what has been done before by others? Why would someone read on from HERE?
Sitting in an office trading financial instruments when new news hit the wire, did not really help make me become a writer. Over the last couple of years I have been asking myself what has been happening to my creativity. When I was a student and not part of the big spinning business wheel I spent days thinking about the sense in life and was able to some extent to put my ideas down.
But to be fair, the job as a trader taught me something else that I now consider as being very important and that is the ability to observe vigilantly, read between the lines, uncover lies, analyse and assess situations and possible outcomes. From my English friends I learnt how important it is to express myself properly, bring ideas right to the point, not swerve around without ever getting to the heart of it.
These practiced skills I will now try to put at work when going around the world.
The world is my oyster
The explorer, that I have been in many ways all my life now finally gets it all. I want to find out what is out there: what people, animals, plants live in these plains and mountains, beaches and deserts, big cities and small villages (or rivers, lakes and seas)? What is the food like, what music, dance and chant is being performed? How is winter, how is summer, how is rain, how is sunshine? What smells and odours are being exhaled? ?! What do the sunsets and sunrises look like? I want to laugh and cry and love and hopefully not die (at least not too soon).
I don't want to be leaving this planet without having had a proper look around, the explorer talks. I am not married, have no kids or other commitments. I am still young and agile. I have to do it as long as I can. There is usually no warning when one meets one's fate. I don't want to sit and wait and earn more money to consume more and get fatter and sicker all the time.
There must be a something else to life, a different life, a more relaxed life, a life away from the riches and goods. A life that contents without more of everything we already have. This is what I am looking for and what I hope to find... If I don't get robbed, mugged or shot. But nothing is without risk.
By the way (Btw): If they stole my Landy with all the stuff in it I would carry on travelling. Shit happens! Walk or buy yourself a bike! And I should think that I would carry on if I was ill. Go to a doctor and sort yourself out! I would not abandon my dream for reasons others than that I wanted to go home (but then obviously my dream would have changed).
For precisely the same reason I would always stay if I felt I did not want to leave the place. So I could happen to stay in India for a year or a month, or a year or a month in China, a year in Australia? I love Australia, 2 years in South America? or maybe longer? I could stay there for ever. The world is an oyster. There is no plan, no schedule, no plane to catch, everything is possible.
This is my big Idea.